Ways to Care For Your Marriage
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by: Janice Lipman
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Word Count: 628
No matter how a firm marriage is, it still needs a little upkeep every now and then for it to prevent in becoming sour. Follow these suggestions on how to nurture a marriage, and show your spouse how much you care about maintaining a healthy relationship.
1. Do not become your spouse's competitor. Instead of contending with your husband for other peoples' attention, at a dinner party, for example, feel confident in your ability to engage the listener. Give yourself a pep talk, if needed. If you find that your spouse puts you on the backburner in social settings, have a sit-down talk and let him or her know how you feel. Your spouse is not your enemy and making small things bigger cannot help in reaching a healthy relationship.
2. Show a bit of awareness in the passion of your spouse even if you do not have the same enthusiasm. For example, if your spouse enjoys shopping for antiques, offer to go along for the ride. Likewise, request your spouse to relax with you in the garden. It is not requisite to like what your wife likes because we know that before you get married, you have diversities such as hobbies and personas. But these differences should not be a reason in order for the couple to go on separate ways. These differences are actually spices in your married life that makes it stronger.
3. Know how to argue. Forget about past objections when venting, and focus on the situation at hand. Likewise, never belittle your spouse, and be aware of the other's feelings. Prove that just because you argue, the marriage is not lost. It does not mean that when you are in an argument; you are bound to separate or to go on divorce. Arguing is a way for the couple to know more about each other and a test on how well you carry yourself even if you are in a status like this. The important thing to remember when arguing is to let the other talk and the one part is to listen. Talking and shouting at the same time has no point. Learn to to be calm and remember that all problems can be fixed when you have proper communication.
4. Always be faithful with your spouse. Nothing can damage a marriage faster than a spouse that has cheated. Show your warmness for each other each day, and find small, but meaningful, ways to connect. Hold hands in public, offer a hug and kiss at the end of the day, and remember to respect each other. Dating at no special occasions can also help.
5. Accept that the give-and-take in a marriage is often unbalanced. Even though you should neither give nor always take, you have to be eager, at times, to give more than you receive. If you feel that your spouse is acting in a different way, or she may be aloof to you. Ask her and talk about your concerns because she might be feeling taken for granted and she may need hugs, cuddles and affection from you.
The marriage is all about two people coming together and giving out with each other about who they are and what they can learn as a team. The couples that stay married are the ones that grow old together and discover from one another. They gain happiness from filling themselves up and then sharing that love with their spouse. More importantly, do not forget that your spouse is your best friend. When couples nourish the friendship in the marriage, then they know that they have a friend in their spouse to be there for the good times and the bad times, in sickness and in health and most essential to have a friend to grow old with.
About the Author
Jeanne W. Harter is working as an instructor and guidance counselor in the University of Arizona She is presently in her Masters education in Psychology, studying in the same school where he is working. She also have 3 kids and have been married for 20 years with a businessman. You can also read her writings on how to save marriage where she is also a co author. http://josephwestberry.typepad.com/blog/2012/01/prevent-divorce-before-it-takes-you.html
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